Clown Shoes Brewing
Clown Shoes Date Night Plans Change
The above is Clown Shoes Date Night Saison, a new offering that was supposed to hit national distribution in January, 2014.
Sadly, the government shutdown will affect the release of this beer. Massachusetts will be the only state getting Date Night Saison.
National distribution is the plan in the future. No ETA set.
Style: Saison
Availability: 22oz bottle. MA only
This Is How You Take A Shot At Trademark Attorneys
Vampire Brands and TI Beverage Group, companies out of California that market vampire themed wine, attempted to sue Clown Shoes Brewing. Cutting the story down to the bare minimum, the group brought a Belgian brewed beer – Vampire Pale Ale into the United States around six months after Clown Shoes anniversary brew Vampire Slayer first hit distribution.
The legal hiccup is that Vampire Brands and TI Beverage Group filed a trademark months before the beer was introduced in the states. The lawsuit came with a few demands, paraphrased below by Gregg Berman of Clown Shoes.
1. The court should rule Clown Shoes unfairly competed with Vampire Brands and infringed on their trademarks, including Vampire, Vampyre, Vampire Vineyards, Chateau du Vampire, Dracula and others.
2. The court should “ order that the Defendants’ ill-gotten gains and all sales proceeds wrongfully acquired by Defendants by means of Defendants wrongful use of Plaintiffs’ trademarks and their support of such acts of unfair competition and false advertising be turned over to Plaintiffs along with interest.
3. The court should award an amount to be determined at trial but at least an amount equivalent to treble the amount of Defendants’ illicit profits or Plaintiffs’ lost profits, whichever is greater.
4. The court award judgment against the Defendants for the full costs of this action, including attorney’s fees reasonably incurred by Plaintiffs.
No cease and desist was ever issued. Instead of going to court to fight the entities, (at a cost of nearly $400,000) the brewery is changing the name to Undead Party Crasher Imperial Stout. The recipe is exactly the same as Vampire Slayer, (complete with holy water) but the name as you can see has changed.
Of course, the label is steeped in “what I’m really thinking” about this case. I think they’ve earned it.
Style: Imperial Stout (w/ Holy Water)
Availability: 22oz bombers, Draft
11% ABV
Clown Shoes Readies Their 4th Anniversary Brew
Clown Shoes Brewing (Ipswich, MA) will be bringing you a barrel aged barley wine to celebrate their fourth year of craft brewing.
You might not be among the 1011 billionaires on the planet, but the brewery wants you to drink like one. This English-style barley wine (more maltier, sweeter then American barley wines) is aged in European cognac barrels, so grab a snifter and feel fancy.
Billionaire will be offered in 22oz bottles.
Style: Barleywine (Barrel Aged, Cognac)
Availability: 22oz bombers
Arrival: December, 2013
12% ABV
Clown Shoes Uses Holy Water, Rum Barrels
Clown Shoes Brewing continues to fight evil with Hammer of the Holy. This sure to be amazing stout has been aged in 40 year old Jamaican rum barrels with holy water. Yes, holy water.
Much like previous release Vampire Slayer, this beer fights evil with the addition of holy water added to the boil. [No, I don’t think that boiling holy water diminishes the beer’s ability to cast out evil.]
But wait, there’s more. The malt was smoked with vampire killing stakes. So, grab a glass and cast out some demons. Hopefully taking a few of those Twilight losers with you.
Style: Imperial Stout (w/ Holy Water. Barrel Aged. Rum)
Availability: 22oz bombers
Arrival: TBA (Hopefully for Halloween)
11% ABV
Chai Tea Makes Clown Shoes Bombay Berserker
Clown Shoes (Ipswich, MA) is creating a new spin on Chocolate Sombrero, the brewery’s Mexican Sombrero with Bombay Berserker. The base beer stays the same, but Berserker sees the addition of chai tea giving the stout an Indian flair. The chai adds ginger, vanilla, cardamon, and cinnamon to the chocolate exterior. Look for this one soon in bottles and draft.
“Our love for you is like a truck…. BERSERKER!”
Style: Imperial Stout (w/ Chocolate, Chai Tea)
Availability: 22oz bombers, Draft
Arrival: TBA
10% ABV
Clown Shoes Shows Some Swagger
Like a peacock driving a Lamborghini, Clown Shoes (Ipswich, MA) Swagger Hoppy Red Lager is a show off.
Clown Shoes Swagger is a liquid strut, a summertime quaff with attitude, a crisp red lager dry hopped with Simcoe and Citra. Perfect for a barbecue or a picnic at the beach, as well as to pacify your inner peacock.
Style: Lager
Availability: 12oz bottles
Arrival: TBA
6% ABV
Clown Shoes Blends Two For Very Angry Beast
What do you get when you blend Clown Shoes Vampire Slayer (brewed with holy water) and Blaecorn Unidragon? A Very Angry Beast. That is the beast you see above. Don’t forget to barrel age this beast.
Hoppy Feet guy extinguished evil via a sharp stake through an undead chest. Now, Blaecom Unidragon, full of fury, has expelled another bloodsucker from Earth. We hate vampires, but love Vampire Slayer, which we blended in equal parts with Blaecorn Unidragon, bourbon barrel aging the mix to beget Very Angry Beast.
Style: Imperial Stout (Barrel Aged. Bourbon)
Availability: 22oz bombers
Arrival: TBA
11.5% ABV
