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Spotlight: Stone Stochasticity Brainiac (Government says no Colon Blow)

Hopefully by now, you’ve seen and/or tasting new(ish) Stone Delicious IPA, a gluten-reduced offering. That beer was meant to fill a niche in the brewery’s lineup. Until Stone’s Mitch Steele learned of Grouse Malting and Roasting Company’s buckwheat and millet malts.

Those unique malts set the stage for a grain-forward brew, Stone Stochasticity Grainiac. The base malts are buckwheat and millet malts, plus Stone’s front-line hop combo, Cascade and Centennial.

As for the name? Stone Stochasticity Grainiac was really intended to be called “Colon Blow”. The name coming from an old Saturday Night Live skit. The U.S. government (as well as Stone’s marketing team) rejected the name, as it references “an effect this product could have on the human body”. Grainiac it is.

Beer Street Journal Taste impressions: Hoppy for sure. Very much in the neighborhood of Stone’s hop-forward offerings. The buckwheat and oats are strong game players, making this an easy drinker.

Stone Stochasticity Grainiac is available in 22 ounce bottles for a limited time.

Hops: Cascade, Centennial
Malts: Buckwheat, Millet

Availability: 22oz Bottles
Release: Week of November 23, 2015

?? ABV

You might end up needing this…

3 thoughts on “Spotlight: Stone Stochasticity Brainiac (Government says no Colon Blow)

  1. Hey, I’ve got an idea: Why don’t we name a beer the dumbest fuckin’ thing we can think of. Then, when the government and ourselves deny usage of the retarded name, that even we know is retarded, we’ll make a big deal about it like anyone gives a shit. Oh, hahahahha! Cheers to that, Johnny. Can you pass the pate filled raspberry condoms?

    Just call a beer “Butt Chug” and get it over with already.

      • I have a lot of fun dogging on these stupid shit trendy ideas that breweries come up with to market to the child-like mentality of the “craft beer nerd”. Truth is if most of these beers didn’t have cheeky names and labels and had to stand on the quality of the beer alone, they wouldn’t have a leg to stand on and they certainly wouldn’t receive the hype that a lot of these beers find. We’ll see who’s looking back in 5 years saying “Man, Colon Blow was a game changer.” I’ll tell who will remember that beer: Fuckin’ no one. I love Stone, but their marketing is getting dumber and dumber. Xocoveza is a great beer. There is no need to call it “Ass Chocolate Inside Your Mouth Followed By Burning” just to sell a few bottles. The entire Stochasticity Project has been a bust, except for Grapefruit Slam, which was pretty good, but they could have just released it as a Stone beer and we could have all moved on without having to try the lost cause that is this series of beers. I’m sure Michael Jackson would have loved to write about a beer called “Dick Spit”.

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