Mitchell Fairbarn faces four counts of animal cruelty after surveillance cameras caught him dragging birds across the enclosure at 6 a.m. and hauling one to the 14th floor — because farm boy instincts, apparently
Las Vegas has seen a lot of bad decisions made in early morning hours, but Mitchell Fairbarn managed to out-stupid the entire Vegas Strip this week by breaking into the Flamingo Hotel’s wildlife habitat, grabbing a live flamingo by the legs, dragging it to the ground — twice — chasing the flock around the enclosure, wrapping one bird in his shirt, and hauling it up to his room on the 14th floor. The bird’s name is Peachy. Peachy did not want to go to the 14th floor.
Surveillance footage captured Fairbarn laughing through the whole fit of dumbassery, declaring in clear Canadian “I’m taking it home” while the screaming flamingo informed him he was declining the trip.
Naturally police caught up with him, Fairbarn offered what might be the most Vegas explanation ever recorded: he said he was drunk, he grew up on a farm, saw a the flamingo in distress, and wanted to help by “popping its wing back into place.”
The Vegas police said in a statement that Fairbarn (speaking of farm boy) had to training that would qualify him to fix this animal. The flamingo’s wing was, in fact, clipped. Fairbarn now faces four counts of animal cruelty. Peachy is with veterinarians. Caesars is pressing charges. And somewhere out there, a hung-over man is realizing that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.
